This has been a pretty interesting journey where I’ve learned some things about myself.  Well, I already knew of these “things”, but now that I’ve decided to take my writing more seriously, it feels like a bright light is shining down on them.  Also, my writing friend brings them to my attention. :/  I know in order for me to grow (in writing and in life), I have to acknowledge my areas of opportunity. 😉

First off, I am not a patient person.  Never have and I’m not sure I’ll ever be.  Second, I’m not especially kind to myself.  My inner-critic doesn’t know how to treat me (it’s like being in a bad relationship).  Also, I let my frustrations distract me, which basically means I don’t get much done since I lack patience.

So, what do you get when you add distractions and frustration, multiplied by impatience, and then square the result with negative self-talk?  A hot mess, that’s what.  There’s nothing appealing about a hot mess.  (This is just my opinion.  If you’re a mess and it works for you, then, by all means, do you.  As for me, I need to get my stuff in order so I can navigate this world.)

Impatience won’t get me very far.  It’ll just make it easier to give up (been there, done that).   I’ve been out of practice for years.  I’m not going to be a gifted writer with eloquent prose in a few weeks.  These things take time, plus there’s nothing I can do about.  I can’t control time or anyone else, but I can control how I respond.

There’s no sense in being hard on myself either.  It’s a complete waste of valuable energy.  Besides, there’s probably somebody out there who isn’t going to like my writing (or me, for that matter), who’ll take it upon themselves to give me a piece of their mind.  Why be so hard on myself when there’s somebody who can’t wait to do it for me?

No matter how exhausting “adulting” can get, I still push forward.  When I don’t live up to my absurd expectations, I extend myself some grace.  I still stumble, but I don’t beat myself up over it.  I just keep moving.

Something else I’m trying to get a handle on is the need to compare myself to others.  I’ve wasted so much time playing the comparison game.  I can’t afford to obsess over how I’m doing compared to the next person, especially since I don’t know their journey.  That’s a recipe for disaster.  My path is my own.  The lessons I’m taught are tailor-made for me.  The sooner I realize this, the better.

Although my flaws scream louder than my strengths, I’m okay with that.  It’s all part of the process in discovering who I am as an author.  Right now what’s important is finding my own rhythm.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’ll ask other authors how they stay focused, how they found their editor, etc.  Asking for advice is one thing, but assuming their grass is greener than mine will only hinder my progress.

I’m sure I’ll overcome my imperfections.  It won’t be quick or painless, but what I’ll gain along the way will be invaluable.  I have a great group of encouragers and accountability partners who are anxiously awaiting (See?  I’m not the only one who’s impatient.) for my stories to appear on this website as well as on bookshelves.  They want me to succeed as much as I do.

What I endure now will only prepare me for what lies ahead.  I’ll always be a work in progress.  To assume otherwise is to assume I’m perfect and above all things, which is far from the truth.  I have no problems admitting my faults and maturing from them and neither should you.

What are some imperfections that’s inhibited your focus?  How did you handle it?